Out Loud...

There are times in my life that all I want to do is to disappear from the face of this planet. For no reason at all. I just want to escape… from what? I just want to escape from myself.

Basically, I created this blog to tell people (whether they are just passers-by or friends or enemies) what happens to my so-called life. I want to share things to them as if the readers are seeing the places through my eyes, and learning life lessons through my experiences. I'm not quite sure I have been eloquent enough to meet those objectives.

But in this entry, I want to pour out some of the emotions, the strongest so far. Last January 25, in the wee hours of morning, at the corner of EDSA and Shaw Boulevard the talk started. I was a bit hesitant then, but as the conversation digs deeper to the heart of the matter, I started to unleash all the things I so long to say. For the first time in my life, I said things how it should be said, without censoring the words, without thinking what might be the outcome of my actions, without caring if those words I uttered will lose the person in front of me faster than a speed of light. It didn’t matter. It feels like it’s my only chance to admit everything to this person, and holding back is not an option. I cried through out our talk. I cursed every once in a while. I considered his arguments. And then, I found myself in great pain… up until now that I compose this entry.

Although tear stricken when I walk steadily away from him, I’m relieved from the emotions I so try hard to conceal. Finally, I’ve said my piece and so is he. There’s nothing more to do but choose. I was left with two options, two options that I will both lose. Two options which have no deadline. Only two options… Let Go or Stay…