Likes… Dislikes…

Just like to share...

Likes… Beliefs… Wants… Dreams…

One of my childhood dreams is to be the first lady to reach the peak of Mt. Everest… then I was disillusioned one day to learn that I cannot be the first lady to do that… but still I my fascination with mountains did not end.

I also dreamed of discovering the 10th planet but then, it was frustrating to know that it was already discovered… but my interest in heavenly bodies did not waver.

I’ve always wanted to be a scientist and my goal is to create a certain something that can make garbage and wastes disappear without making the environment suffer, unfortunately, when I was in highschool I learned that I have to have money to do that… so I just contend myself in doing my part in maintaining cleanliness.

My dream profession then was to be a teacher… a religion teacher, but as I grow older I found myself in conflicting concepts of religion… although, I decided not to pursue the dream I still made sure that I would not abandon the faith. I will be that teacher to my nieces, nephews, my kids and even to those lost souls that may walk my way.

Photography… it is one thing that I LOVE to do… I wish to pursue this hobby of mine… when? Not sure yet, when I have enough funds to support the expenses.

I LOVE DRAWING… arts in general… in all forms… may it be poetry, painting, sketches, dance… it’s just that I have certain moods for each one… yes, I can sketch, I can paint, I do write literary pieces.

I am scared of deep waters… but I don’t consider that as something I hate or dislike… In fact I am so amazed but the life under the sea... and I believe that it’s my great respect for their space that scares me to intrude their privacy.

I have great respect for seeing beneath the surface of anything/ anyone. I don’t believe in first impressions… I strongly believe that no matter how thin you slice the cheese it has two sides.

I LOVE kids… the innocence they posses… the honesty in all their actions and words… the pureness of their intensions… and simply how they can make your world a little brighter just by the simplest of their gestures.

I LOVE cartoons… I LOVE fairytales… I LOVE magic… (I’ll let you in a secret, I think I am a witch…)… I LOVE being in-tuned with nature… I LOVE happy endings… I LOVE playing love doctor… I LOVE the rain because after the rain I will be able to see the colors of the rainbow, without the rain the color of the sunset will not be as mesmerizing as it is. I LOVE chocolates for all the goodness and badness it brings… I am a hopeless romantic that believes that when you finally found the one it will lasts forever…

I believe that people comes in all sizes and shapes, in all colors and cuts…

I am already 25 years old and I’ve seen quite a lot to say that I can live the rest of my life without difficulty if I’d be surrounded by people who are trustworthy… loving…caring… with a very good idea of what having fun is… understanding… whom I can talk with about anything and everything, anytime, anywhere… intelligent… people who will help me see life in a positive way and who will lead me back to my Savior.

Hate… Dislikes… Angst… Fears…

I don’t like eating vegetables because I have this thinking that they are so helpless to be eaten…

I don’t like being stuck in a no-way out place or situation. It makes me feel useless and stupid.

Sometimes, I feel like my life sucks, because no matter how hard we avoid to have insensitive, reckless and selfish people in our lives we just can’t. Because, no matter how hard I try to push them away, I know these people are still the ones that makes me appreciate how good life can get…

I hate myself for being so childish in the age of 25. Nobody takes me seriously… Which makes me fear that I will be stuck being alone for the rest of my life…

Basically, I don’t hate too much… It will just make my life harder to deal with… I may hate people, situations and things but at the end of the day, I don’t have anybody, anything or anyone to blame but myself… This is my ship I am the captain… This is my life I should be accountable with everything…

… I am rebellious free spirited missy, turning 25 this coming October, what you see is what you get type of girl, but if you go an extra mile you’d know the truth in all that I’ve claimed to love and hate… or maybe even more…

I am starting to be sooooo sentimental and emotional... this is that time of the year...

dark space...

I was asked to write an essay for an english class, the theme is If I am Not Connected with CUP Today, where Would I Be?

and this is what i came up with:

Change is inevitable in life. Adjustments and uncertainties are part of change, which makes it more difficult to cope with it. In my case, leaving my comfort zone was always the hardest first step to consider every time a better opportunity crosses my path. A better opportunity most of the times just means change and higher compensation, but is higher compensation enough? I am still young and in the formative years of my career life that is why it is never enough. I am in that stage where I should be exploring my talents and potentials to the best extent it can reach. That’s the very reason why I feel so stuck when I decided to stay in my comfort zone and wait where the tides of life will lead me. Lack of professional experience, master of none and a confused soul was never a good combination in getting anywhere. I am very far from achieving any of my goals. I don’t have enough exposure to support my desire career direction. I am like a kid trapped in a dark place where I don’t want to move an inch in the fear of getting lost. I was in that place when CUP suddenly opened a door of opportunity for me. With the light streaming inside this little space, I am no longer frightened to move. I can now see the direction where I should be heading to, leaving my comfort zone is no longer an issue because this opportunity given to me is ushering me towards that certain place where I want to be.

A little too emotional for an essay, huh?

surprises!!!

I love surprises!!! and what i love most lately is surprising myself!!! =) eversince i decided to join the first climb organized by OCMI this year i have been surprising myself...

1. that i can climb despite my fear of heights (and my
big heavy backpack!)... Mt. Gulugod-Baboy, Mt.
Batulao, Mt. Arayat, Mt. Pico de Loro, at Mt.
Terranos.
2. that i can sing in front of a crowd despite my
stage fright (and my unbelievable voice!)
3. that i can swim across 4ft to 10ft deep pool... and
back... despite the fact that i can only swim if i can
still feel the tiles of the flooring (panic panic panic)

Lately, i noticed that i became a little more daring when it comes to trying out new things. And the next thing that i have to do... to go rappelling down a 60 feet wall... wahhhh kayanin ko
kaya yun?

Also, I have OCMI to thank for my first Tree Planting activity and my first Medical Mission =)

Now, i no longer hate the thought that i was not allowed to be a girl scout... Mountaineering is way way way better... hehehe

flaws and all...

I have always treated each of the friendships I have as unique. So each time when one seems to be on the verge of being non-existent, I really do feel pain...

I have a friend who I considered as one of my good friends. I like being with her. She is almost like a sister to me. Eventhough we do not always see things eye to eye, yet at some level we have already accepted each other's differences and
flaws. Until lately...

It hurts to know that she can stoop that low just to stay on the safe side of things. I'm really not asking her to take my side. It's just that I never thought she'll ever betray her so-called friends just to play safe. Now that really hurts! I just hope that she'll realize that if she really wants to be in neutral grounds, she should just keep her silence. I don't know where this friendship of ours will lead to. But I hope that we will not be torn apart.

For two weeks now, I'm going through extreme emotions. One moment, I would feel so lucky. But before I get to enjoy that feeling, I would start feeling extremely angry. Then, I would feel a terrible loss. But inspite of that, I still always manage to be truly happy amidst all these roller coaster ride of emotions.

All my life, I've always believed that no matter how thin you slice the cheese it will always have two sides. I always give everybody the benefit of the doubt. But I always... ALWAYS ... take a stand with what I believe to be right. Sana ikaw din noh...

chapters...

why is handing out your resignation letter always such a hard thing to do...

my resignation is synonymous to:

- saying goodbye to people whom I manage to live most of my waking hours with, arguing, laughing, brainstorming, building friendships and camaraderie, plotting "war battles" and so on and so forth...
- saying goodbye to my comfort zone... a predictable outcome of my day, lazy afternoons in coffee shops around the block, emergency leaves, tardiness, unlimited chat, downloads, etc... etc...
- a whole new challenge when it comes to my career...
- a whole new set of friends-to-be... a broader horizon... basically, everything is new! =)

When something new is about to happen in your life you are excited to face the new challenges that's about to unfold in front of you and at the same time there is that fear of uncertainties, surprises and unfamiliarity.

Yesterday, my immediate superior already handed out my resignation to our general manager, this act symbolizes the closing of the "applications consultant chapter" in my life. But, before the day ends, I also signed an employment contract, the "software quality assurance analyst chapter" which is now starting to be laid in front of me. I only hope that my SQA Analyst chapter is as good as my Applications Consultant chapter, if not better. =)

Please pray for me...